I have several thoughts which might help you be more successful in building your business / adding Ideal Clients by referral only.
Mindset / Way of Being: Consider the question you asked at the end of your explanation about your situation, "What would you suggest is the best way of handling this situation to extract referrals?" I recognize that you didn't intend anything negative in the way you asked the question, however the words we choose represent how we view things internally. Consider the word "extract" for a moment. Is it possible that the reason some people are not warming up to the idea of introducing you to their friends, family, and colleagues is because they feel like you are trying to "extract" referrals from them? What if your thoughts about the referral process were more altruistic? Might this shift your way of being during the referral conversation, thereby shifting how your clients think about introducing you to their friends, family, and colleagues? Give it a try. The goal of the referral process is to give gifts that help people. One possible outcome is that some of these people become clients. And you are comfortable with the other outcomes.Trust the process.
As far as something more tactical, your VBFP Referral Process Script Binder should contain your scripted response to all of the questions that you encounter during every aspect of the referral process. Fundamentally, being deliberate with all of your client and prospective client interactions is the global purpose of investing in the Values-Based Financial Planning turn-key business model.
Your objective is to establish the best way to respond to every question or comment that you get during every step of the referral process, rehearse what you say and how you say it in response, so you develop a high level of skill and confidence which determines your results. If you have had too much sales training you might think of this as objection handling. Please don't. Instead, think of this as practicing conversations with people to respectfully address their questions and / or concerns about introducing you to their friends, family, and / or colleagues. Do you see how framing the process as respectfully addressing their questions and / or concerns shifts your mindset to a place that is more likely to create a warm response?
As far as scripting a response to, "We don't talk to our friends about money."
Trusted Advisor, That's perfectly fine. I'm not sure what I might have said to give you the impression that I expect you to have spoken with your friends about money in the past and, to be crystal clear, I am not asking you to speak with your friends about their money now. Does that work for you?
Client: Excellent. I don't want to talk to anybody about their money!
TA: No worries. You told me that your experience with Values-Based Financial Planning has given you more security, less doubt, and more certainty, is that right?
Client: Yes.
TA: Tell me more about that. (Going deeper with an expanding question, taken verbatim from the referral conversation script.)
Client: ____________________________________________________. (Listen!)
TA: On a day-to-day basis, how do you see that impacting your life? (Going deeper with an impact question, taken verbatim from the referral conversation script.)
Client: ____________________________________________________. (Listen!)
TA: Are their people in your life, who you care about, who might like to have more security, less doubt, and more certainty, perhaps for some of the reasons you have described that are impacting your life in a positive way?" (I inserted the words your clients provided when you "went deep" about the value received from VBFP so far.)
Client: Sure.
Trusted Advisor: Who the first person who comes to mind?
Follow the process.
In response to some of their questions you may need to use elements of the script that come later in the script earlier. For example:
Client: What happens after I give you their names?
TA: We have a process for orchestrating a warm introduction to Values-Based Financial Planning so they can get value. First, we will send them a copy of the VBFP book as a gift, no strings attached, with a short note from you on the cover. (show them the book with the blank post-it note stuck to the cover) Second, you will give them a call to tell them: (I cut and pasted the following 5 points from the referral script.)
1. That you have asked me to send them a copy of Values-Based Financial Planning… no strings attached.
2. The reason you believe that their knowing me and about Values-Based Financial Planning will help have some positive impact on something that matters to them.
3. How knowing me, and about Values-Based Financial Planning, has impacted you by __________. (insert the earlier, deep emotional response from your client about the value to them)
4. That I am not trying to sell them anything.
5. Something favorable about my character or personality. (Not something about my technical ability as an advisor.)
Then I will follow-up with them to offer a 20-minute phone consultation to help them understand how the concepts in the book can have a positive impact on their life and get their Financial Road Map started. I will answer any questions they have about Values-Based Financial Planning and the Financial Road Map. The next step typically falls into one of three categories:
1. If appropriate, they come to my office, just as you did, to get their Financial Road Map completed. I may or may not invite them to become a client and they may or may not accept, if invited. Just like you experienced.
2. They get value from our conversation and choose to proceed on their own or take the next step with their existing Financial Advisor.
3. They find the conversation on the phone with me interesting, but choose to do nothing further. I am comfortable with any outcome. Just to be clear, there is no selling or pressure, whatsoever. It is a natural selection process where some people get value from our conversation and choose to move to the next step and some don't. I love to help people and am comfortable with any outcome. Does that answer your question?
Client: Yes.
TA: So... who's first today?
Sometimes your clients can make a leap in their mind that they are referring their friends, family, and / or colleagues to hire you as their advisor. It's a logical, but inaccurate, mental leap. So, you might have to explain all or part of your process more than once for them to get it. Do you know how you can watch a move a second or third time and see things you didn't see the first time? Be patient. Be understanding. And be diligent. Do not allow them to choose not to participate in the referral process based on a false impression about the process. Read and re-read the scripts, including the script for the follow-up call with responses to the predictable questions, as many times as necessary so YOU truly internalize the altruistic nature of the process and the gifts you are willing to give. Perhaps they aren't getting it because you don't get it. (Blind leading the blind?) Read and re-read the scripts, including the script for the follow-up call with responses to the predictable questions, as many times as necessary so YOU truly internalize the altruistic nature of the process and the gifts you are willing to give.
