When I do the Referral Conversation™ with clients, I'm often getting the response that they'd like to check with the people they want to refer first to get their "OK" to give me their contact info. What do you recommend I say when this comes up?

Article ID: 119

Last updated: 20 Nov, 2019

“I’d like to send your friends a $5,000 cashiers check with absolutely no strings attached; do you think you’d have to call to get their permission to do that?”

I didn’t think so. If you don’t need to get their permission to send a $5,000 gift, what makes you think you’ll need permission to send these gifts?

The actual problem is that they don’t view your gifts as gifts. They view it as a solicitation. Which means, you probably view it as a solicitation. It is key to shift their thinking from referring you as a solicitation versus 4 gifts. It’s vital that you and they remember this is gift process, not a solicitation. As long as they think it’s a solicitation they will throw up obstacles like this.

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I have been feeling and expressing more conviction in my Referral Conversations™ with those who have provided referrals in the past, and either less conviction or sometimes skipping the conversation altogether with those who have not. Other than "perfect the conversation, and do the conversation the same way, every time, similar to the analogy of great athletes perfecting their swings and repeating it the same way every time", do you have any other suggestions?

Below is a correspondence between a client (Rafal) and the advisor. After Rafal had his Financial Road Map® and Action Plan completed he wanted to refer his friend “Slawek” . He wrote a note on the cover of the Values Based Financial Planning™ book, we were just waiting for Rafal to provide his address and let us know it was ok to send the book because he had not spoken to his friend. We received the response that he did not want to go ahead with it- Please read the correspondence below. Coincidentally, this was the second time this week that this has happened. We are hoping for some feedback to let us know how to handle this more effectively. Client: Hi, I did talk to Sławek, but unfortunately he is not interested in getting any information related to financial services. He is already working with a financial planner that he is quite happy with. Regards, Rafal Trusted Advisor: Hi Rafal, It is perfectly ok that Slawek has a current Financial Planner. To clarify my offer was not to become his Financial Planner, rather the offer was to give him the following gifts: 1. Values Based Financial Planning™ Book 2. 8 issues of our Values Based Quality of Life Newsletters™ 3. Complementary 20 minute Phone Consultation 4. Create his Financial Road Map® As we discussed, I believe everyone deserves to have a Financial Road Map® and know that Values Based Financial Planning™ exists. The purpose of the gifts is to provide value to Slawek and share your experience when we created your Financial Road Map® The benefits you mentioned were “…Very important, make better decisions, more focused, more relaxed about the future, start exercising, keeping healthy.” It sounds like Slawek thinks the offer is to be his advisor. We are providing the gifts to share some ideas that could favorably impact his quality of life regardless of who his advisor is. He mentioned he is happy, my job is to make people happier. Sincerely, Trusted Advisor Client: Hi, Yes, I understand what you have to offer. Sławek is simply not open to this and there is not much that I can do. Regards, Rafal

At last Progress Meeting I asked for introductions and this was the response. "We have approached our friends and everybody is in the frame of mind they have their things in order, they have their ducks in a row and don't want to talk about it?" I responded - this is about sharing the positive experience that you have had with Values-Based Financial Planning™( security, peace of mind) and allowing others to have a Financial Road Map® to guide their decisions. Bill how would you have responded?

I need to make sure I am on the right track. Is the purpose of the self referral conversation to set a Phone Consultation Appointment? Is it important to go deep even if the prospect is welcoming to receive the Values-Based Financial Planning™ book and Newsletters and agrees to the Phone Consultation?

For some clients the Referral Conversation™ at the end of the Implementation Meeting has been a long time ago and/or not executed well at that time. The result is that they have not heard or do not remember why providing referrals are a great win-win-win opportunity. Since the following referral conversations builds on the first one, is it OK to repeat (once) part of this initial conversation after a Progress Meeting to help the client ‘get it’?

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