What do I do when the partner who goes second during the Values & Goals Conversations™ says, "My answers are the same as my partners," or, "I don't need to go up the Values Staircase™."
If you find yourself in the position where you selected the more dominant to go first and then the less dominant person says, "My answers are the same as his or hers." Cover up the completed Values Staircase with a piece of paper or a notecard and then say, "They may turn out to be very similar, but the purpose of the exercise is to discuss each of your perspectives about money and hear what YOU have to say in your own words. So..... , What's... important.... about money... to YOU?"
When I ask, "Who would like to go first" I have had three occasions where the husband refereed to the wife out of being polite. So I said, "Well I learned a long time ago to start with the person who does not volunteer” and I start with the husband. When we change over to the wife she says, "Well my answers are the same as him and they just repeat his answers and really don't want to progress up the staircase. How do I determine who to start with?
The objective is to begin with the less dominant person first. You learn that by the way a person either volunteers or volunteers the other person. In the case you have described here, you should begin with the spouse who was volunteered.
In my Financial Road Map® Conversations I find that my clients want to talk about the deck, car and the children’s education when I am trying to dig out their Core Values. I am not sure if I am making mistakes or just need to redirect them to their values. I am telling them that we will discuss the Goals in just a few minutes but need for them to go through the Values Conversation™.
Just relax and let them say whatever they say when you ask the question. Some people need to express the tangible before they move up the staircase into their values. Remember, this conversation is meant to be pleasant and enjoyable for them, not a forced march up their Values Staircase™ or an interrogation. Listen to your recordings.
How do you respond to a client who, during the Values Conversation™ of the Financial Road Map® Interview, keeps saying, "I'm not sure where we are going with this"? Is this a sign that I should disengage? If so, how?
It could be a signal to disengage, but it's more likely they are feeling some pressure to provide the "right" answers. You probably just need to be more relaxed when you ask the questions during the Values Conversation™. How does it sound to you when you listen to your recordings of your Financial Road Map® interviews? Sometimes a person just needs a little reassurance. In that case say something like, "you're doing fine by answering whatever comes to mind naturally when you think about what's important about to you. Where 'we are going' is wherever you take me in our discussion about what's important to you." Then ask the next question in a relaxed and curious manner. The bridging comment, " means different things to different people... what's important about to you?" can also be helpful on occasion, just don't over use it.
I had a recent Phone Consultation™ where the person was very quick in listing off the values they had; so many in a short space of time. He was also writing it all down at the same time. He seemed to be very switched on when talking about what was important to him. How would you manage someone who is reeling this information off very quickly?
Don't ask the next question until you are done writing the answer. If they seem to be wondering why you are not speaking yet say, "I'm still writing your last response. I'll be caught up in just a moment."
I frequently work with wealthy widows. They are not part of a couple, nor are they looking to begin a relationship. Is there a version of the Financial Road Map® that has one Values Staircase™ or do you have any advice on how to effectively handle this situation the best way possible?
Just use one Value Staircase™ without feeling self-conscious about it or feeling a need to explain it. The same is true with a person or couple who has fewer than 3 goals. Just because there are 3 goals shields does not mean they have to have 3 goals. Ditto for 2 Values Staircases.
I set up an Financial Road Map Interview™ with a client but the appointment, in his mind, is going to be like our previous appointments. It seemed jarring to him to launch into the Values Conversation™. He told me, very nicely, that his mind wasn't geared to think that way for this appointment and he really couldn't think of anything to say. I told him there were no wrong answers and that this was a fun exercise. We tried again and he was still stumped. I set it aside but wanted to know if there was a more graceful exit to the process and a better way to prep my potential clients other than that I am upgrading my business model, etc.?
It's quite normal when you begin facilitating people through the Values Conversation™ that some are easier than others. I am concerned, however, that you might develop a limiting belief that men have more difficulty going up the Values Staircase™ than women. This is NOT true! Consider every Values Conversation™ valuable in its own right and also a good lesson and practice for making you more effective at conducting future Values Conversations™. Whenever a person is struggling to think of an answer to the last “What’s It All About… To You?” question, simply relax more: smile, sit back in your chair and assure them that they have all the time in the world to reflect on what's important to them. Make sure your pen is sitting on the desk top, rather than in your hand, and keep your hands and feet still, rather than tapping and fidgeting. Make sure there is a long pause before the "To You" portion of the question: What's important about... FREEDOM........... to you? Make sure your face...
I conducted a Phone Consultation this evening with a couple. I made the offer to complete their Financial Road Map®, which they accepted.
When they come in for the Financial Road Map®, experience, do I pre-populate the values staircase for them, have them review it, and begin with the scripting from that point, or do I do the whole values staircase conversation again?
If you did both of their Values Staircases on the phone, you pre-populate and begin with Pre-Commitment with each spouse.
Going into my first Financial Road Map® interview, do clients ever ask or express skepticism/sarcasm at the, ‘What’s Important About…To You’ questions because it's just a fill in the blank formula. I ask because someone I practiced with asked this and I must admit that I felt a similar feeling. I know that the process works and gets to important values, but it feels almost too simple. Please offer your thoughts and perspective.
Not if you do it right. If you really care about listening to people talking about what's important to them, they will enjoy telling you what's important.
I've been having some difficulty in the values conversation with clients not going "higher" than basic needs. It almost seems like I need to cue them that it's OK to go beyond money and that I want to hear about the things that are really important to them. They seem to not understand that and there's nothing in the script to let them know that. To be honest, I’ve deviated from the WIA__TY and the associated framing/bridging framework in order to have clients understand what the exercise is really about...I found it frustrating to keep hearing that money is important to pay bills without anything deeper or more important. Please share your thoughts on these several issues.
Try projecting them into the future w/ this language, “Let’s say you in a place where paying your bills is completely taken care of…. what’s important about being in that position… to you?”
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