On your CD Financial Road Map™ interview with Barbara and Justin, you said more than once, “You’ve said a couple things here”, are you putting each point on a separate line or combining for one line?
Yes. Write them in the order you receive them moving from the bottom step upwards. Then pick up with the last answer: “What’s Important About the-last-answer… To You?” Module 2: FRM-Existing Clients pg. 104-105
How do I identify true values in people's answers? Sometimes my clients will say so many different words; I find it difficult to identify which are the keywords.
The values element of their answer will have more emotion in the words. As you gain more experience you will also learn to recognize that some words represent values and others do not. For example, security is a value. Retirement is a goal.
How should I handle answers during the Values Staircase™ that consist of stories?
It could sound like this. “The crux of what I heard in that story is that making a difference is very important to you, so that’s what I am going to write in this step of your staircase.” Write it down and ask, “Whats Important About making a difference To You? This should send the message that there is not room for an entire story in the box. Most people catch on and become more succinct as they move up the staircase. If and when they don’t, say something like, “I appreciate that there are probably many stories that we can discuss related to each question about what’s important to you. Unfortunately we only have an hour for our entire meeting today. I don’t want you to feel rushed to answer and, by the same token, there is no need to discuss all of these stories today. With that in mind, What’s important about the-last-answer… to you? There is a certain art to learning to manage the time in a conversational way. The more you do this the better you will become. Remember, you have...
What do you do if people discuss multiple values in an answer? Should you list multiple steps upwards?
Yes. Write them in the order you receive them moving from the bottom step upwards. Then pick up with the last answer: What’s Important About the-last-answer… To You?
During the Values Conversation™ is it acceptable to list negative things if that's all the client is providing? Examples would be "no debt", "not controlled by someone else", etc?
Yes and typically they will shift to positively framed answers as they move up the staircase.
Why shouldn't I use words like "great" or "good answer" after my clients value responses?
Bill Bachrach has a phrase that’s relevant, “Trust cannot be established where judgment exists.” When you think about it, judgmental words have always raises a comparative analysis. If you say, “good answer,” that implies that there are “bad answers.” Conversely, if you say something with a negative connotation, it necessarily implies that a positive alternative must exist. Either way, you stymie your Clients’ thought process by injecting doubt or concern. The simple answer to this problem is not to use judgmental terms or phrases. Remember, it’s all about providing the best possible environment for your Clients so “the truth can descend” as Max Dixon would say.
Sometimes a response to a What’s Important About…To You? question is a story or an example, but no value words are used. What do you write down?
You don’t have anything to write down, so you say something like, “Thank you for sharing that story with me. And (asking the question much more slowly…) What’s… Important… About… the last answer… To You?
One client responded to What's Important About… and said to, “Feed my dog.” I responded, “What's Important About… feeding your dog…To You? I asked and the steps were a waste as everything centered on the dog. How do I move on to something else that is important?
My guess is that you moved to quickly to write down "feeding my dog." He was probably half joking and after the pause after he said "feeding my dog" was about to give you the real answer. When you wrote down "feeding my dog" and asked "What's Important About feeding your dog to you?" he probably continued to answer with responses about the dog to just mess with you. Two things to consider about this situation: 1. What if he was messing with you and you couldn't tell? 2. What if he was serious and you didn't respond with something to move him out of his ridiculous multiple response flow about the dog? To point #1 above: part of asking good questions is developing a reasonable level of "people reading" skill. We aren't teaching to blindly march through the process and ignore all the signals people send you, besides their words, when they communicate with you. To point #2: Remember, the formula: tell the truth, succinctly and directly, in a way that's all about them. eg: "I don't...
In my Financial Road Map® Conversations I find that my clients want to talk about the deck, car and the children’s education when I am trying to dig out their Core Values. I am not sure if I am making mistakes or just need to redirect them to their values. I am telling them that we will discuss the Goals in just a few minutes but need for them to go through the Values Conversation™.
Just relax and let them say whatever they say when you ask the question. Some people need to express the tangible before they move up the staircase into their values. Remember, this conversation is meant to be pleasant and enjoyable for them, not a forced march up their Values Staircase™ or an interrogation. Listen to your recordings.
How do you respond to a client who, during the Values Conversation™ of the Financial Road Map® Interview, keeps saying, "I'm not sure where we are going with this"? Is this a sign that I should disengage? If so, how?
It could be a signal to disengage, but it's more likely they are feeling some pressure to provide the "right" answers. You probably just need to be more relaxed when you ask the questions during the Values Conversation™. How does it sound to you when you listen to your recordings of your Financial Road Map® interviews? Sometimes a person just needs a little reassurance. In that case say something like, "you're doing fine by answering whatever comes to mind naturally when you think about what's important about to you. Where 'we are going' is wherever you take me in our discussion about what's important to you." Then ask the next question in a relaxed and curious manner. The bridging comment, " means different things to different people... what's important about to you?" can also be helpful on occasion, just don't over use it.
I had a great Financial Road Map® this week however the length of the meeting was way too long. I went through four goals and on one goal the clients had a disagreement on what that goal would be; a retirement date or the option to work or not. We took some time to come up with an agreement on what that goal would be. Effectively, we created one date/goal for each partner. How many goals are ideal and what do you do when they disagree on a goal?
(a) as many goals as they have (usually 2 or 3 is how many they have) and (b) Let them work it out and / or ask expanding and clarifying questions to help. One sign that a couple is an Ideal Client is their ability to work through disagreements in a constructive manner and come to a conclusion.
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