How do you recommend getting a client to answer specifically about what money means to them, rather than what money means in general?
Pause longer, and lower your voice before you repeat the “to you” part of the question.
How can an Advisor make sure that what is captured in the "What’s Important About…To You" is positive and inspirational if the answer is phrased as moving away from a negative feeling or situation?
It doesn’t matter how they phrase it. Remember, it’s THEIR Values Staircase™. Some people will think of a couple of their answers this way. Ie: not having to worry about paying my bills, but they seldom answer every question this way and, in my experience which encompasses thousands and thousands of Values Conversations™, they never end negative.
I am having difficulty having prospective clients 'open up' when I ask them "What is Important About Money to You." Are there some other questions to help dig deeper into what a prospective client really thinks is important to them?
Nope, that’s the question and it goes as deep as you could ever want to go. Like everyone who is new to Values Based Financial Planning™, you will get better by doing Financial Road Map Interviews™. Make sure you are actually doing what we teach, record your Financial Road Map Interviews™ , and listen to those recordings. Becoming brilliant at the client interview requires an investment of time and a true commitment to become great. It’s like any other repetitive motion skill, such as golf. In order to become great you have to do a lot and do it right.
Why is it so important that you finish the "What's Important About ___To You" with the "To You?" It seems like there were a number of times on the DVD where you are almost hastily trying to get that last part "To You" in before the client starts answering?
It makes the question more personal and helps them to be more emotionally involved in the conversation.
I know that I shouldn't prompt for an answer when I ask, "What's Important About Money......To You?" However, do you have any suggestions on "alleviating" the client's "anxiety"? Also do you think this is because of their experience (or lack of experience as it pertains to planning) or is it my Way of Being™?
Just relax and give them plenty of emotional space to think of their first answer. If necessary, ask the question again more slowly, “What’s Important About Money To You?” with a greater emphasis on "To You." Also listen to your recordings of your Financial Road Map Interviews™, paying special attention to the opening. How well do you follow the script? Is your pace relaxed? Do you ask the “What’s Important About Money To You?” question in a thoughtful, inquisitive and curious manner? Was there too much chit-chat and discussion prior to the opening and the “What’s Important About Money To You?” question? The success of what you are currently doing is base on what immediately preceded it.
What are your suggestions for clients that are having trouble even getting started up the Values Staircase™? I have had a couple clients that answer the "What’s Important About Money... To You" question with answers like “growth” or “retirement”. Even after I try to get them to take a step back and look at the question more broadly, they are still answering with very specific answers that seem more like goals.
Just accept whatever answer they give you and ask, “What’s Important About the-last-answer… To You? I don’t know what you are saying in your attempt to get them to step back and look more broadly, but they may feel judged and think they are providing the wrong answer which could shut them down.
When starting the Value Staircase™ process with the "What’s Important About Money…To You" question, clients commonly say that money is not important to them. How would I handle that situation?
Why would a person who thinks money isn’t important meet with a FINANCIAL Advisor? So, what is important to you? Move up the staircase from there, but be aware that this person may not be a good fit to have a Financial Advisor.
Some people were analytical during the Values Conversation™ and it made them very uncomfortable. They felt under pressure to be "touchy feely". I would get the response, “What do you mean What Is Important About Money To Me?” Every response was factual as to what it would buy.
Would you just politely move on to the goals section? They liked setting some goals but didn't identify with the "What are one or two words that describe what you are thinking/feeling..."
Same fundamental advice: are you setting the stage like we teach it: succinctly and introducing the recorder? Do you ask the What’s Important About…To You question slowly and deliberately? Is your Way of Being™ such that you come across as a person who wants to learn about them and help them make smart choices vs. someone who is trying to gather information that can be used as leverage to close the sale later? Do you have a nice, deliberate pause before “to you” with an emphasis on “to you” as this personalizes the question and tends to help people reflect on what’s important? The sum of these little things makes the Values Conversation™ more compelling for them so they have a better experience. Keep in mind It’s All About Them. When they feel that It’s All About Them most people tend to enjoy the experience and want to cooperate.
During the Values Conversation™ I often get the response "Give me an example of what you are looking for,"after I ask the question, "What's Important About...To You?" Could you offer some advice?
The more relaxed you are during the VC the more relaxed they will be. Everything in your Way Of Being™, from how you ask the question, making sure the pen is not in your hand when you ask the question, and sitting back in your chair when you ask the question sends the message that they are free to take their time and think of the answer that is relevant for them. Be sure that you are asking the question exactly as taught, What’s Important About ... To You? And have a nice comfortable pause before “To you?” If after you are doing all that a person asks, “can you give me an example?” Your response is, “No I can’t. This is all about you and not about me or your husband / wife / partner making suggestions. Relax and take your time… What’s Important About ... To You?”
What if someone gets stuck on the Financial Road Map®? For example, we’re going up the Values Staircase™ and they say, “Taking care of my kids.” And I say, What’s Important About taking care of your kids, To You?” And they say, “I don’t know what’s important about that. It just is.” I tried projecting into the future but hit the same roadblock. Is there anything else I can do to help them move up further, or should I just stop there even if it is only ½ way up the Values Staircase™?
First part of response is the same as above. Then: If projecting them into the future doesn’t work the first time, do it slower the second, “Let’s say that you are at a place in your future where you have done virtually everything you can imagine doing to take care of your kids… What’s…. Important… About… knowing that you did that for your kids… To… You?”
When you ask the What’s Important About…To You,” question and sometimes you say, “So let’s say you’re there….along with the What’s Important About…To You? question”. How do you decide which one is more appropriate?
I only project them into the future using the “So, let’s say you’re there language” when they are stuck in loop of 2 or more values responses, usually 2, values on the staircase. Sometimes I do this before they get stuck because after a few thousand Values Conversations™ I can sometimes anticipate they are about to get stuck and I use this as a preemptive measure to keep the conversation flowing up the staircase without them getting stuck. For now, just use this technique when your prospect or client gets stuck in a loop. The more you do it the better you get.
Sometimes a response to a What’s Important About…To You? question is a story or an example, but no value words are used. What do you write down?
You don’t have anything to write down, so you say something like, “Thank you for sharing that story with me. And (asking the question much more slowly…) What’s… Important… About… the last answer… To You?
One client responded to What's Important About… and said to, “Feed my dog.” I responded, “What's Important About… feeding your dog…To You? I asked and the steps were a waste as everything centered on the dog. How do I move on to something else that is important?
My guess is that you moved to quickly to write down "feeding my dog." He was probably half joking and after the pause after he said "feeding my dog" was about to give you the real answer. When you wrote down "feeding my dog" and asked "What's Important About feeding your dog to you?" he probably continued to answer with responses about the dog to just mess with you. Two things to consider about this situation: 1. What if he was messing with you and you couldn't tell? 2. What if he was serious and you didn't respond with something to move him out of his ridiculous multiple response flow about the dog? To point #1 above: part of asking good questions is developing a reasonable level of "people reading" skill. We aren't teaching to blindly march through the process and ignore all the signals people send you, besides their words, when they communicate with you. To point #2: Remember, the formula: tell the truth, succinctly and directly, in a way that's all about them. eg: "I don't...
What do I do when the partner who goes second during the Values & Goals Conversations™ says, "My answers are the same as my partners," or, "I don't need to go up the Values Staircase™."
If you find yourself in the position where you selected the more dominant to go first and then the less dominant person says, "My answers are the same as his or hers." Cover up the completed Values Staircase with a piece of paper or a notecard and then say, "They may turn out to be very similar, but the purpose of the exercise is to discuss each of your perspectives about money and hear what YOU have to say in your own words. So..... , What's... important.... about money... to YOU?"
In my Financial Road Map® Conversations I find that my clients want to talk about the deck, car and the children’s education when I am trying to dig out their Core Values. I am not sure if I am making mistakes or just need to redirect them to their values. I am telling them that we will discuss the Goals in just a few minutes but need for them to go through the Values Conversation™.
Just relax and let them say whatever they say when you ask the question. Some people need to express the tangible before they move up the staircase into their values. Remember, this conversation is meant to be pleasant and enjoyable for them, not a forced march up their Values Staircase™ or an interrogation. Listen to your recordings.
How do you respond to a client who, during the Values Conversation™ of the Financial Road Map® Interview, keeps saying, "I'm not sure where we are going with this"? Is this a sign that I should disengage? If so, how?
It could be a signal to disengage, but it's more likely they are feeling some pressure to provide the "right" answers. You probably just need to be more relaxed when you ask the questions during the Values Conversation™. How does it sound to you when you listen to your recordings of your Financial Road Map® interviews? Sometimes a person just needs a little reassurance. In that case say something like, "you're doing fine by answering whatever comes to mind naturally when you think about what's important about to you. Where 'we are going' is wherever you take me in our discussion about what's important to you." Then ask the next question in a relaxed and curious manner. The bridging comment, " means different things to different people... what's important about to you?" can also be helpful on occasion, just don't over use it.
I had a recent Phone Consultation™ where the person was very quick in listing off the values they had; so many in a short space of time. He was also writing it all down at the same time. He seemed to be very switched on when talking about what was important to him. How would you manage someone who is reeling this information off very quickly?
Don't ask the next question until you are done writing the answer. If they seem to be wondering why you are not speaking yet say, "I'm still writing your last response. I'll be caught up in just a moment."
I'm new to Values-Based Financial Planning™ and am looking forward to the Academy 1 in October. In the meantime, I wanted your guidance on the following: I've been referred to a young family man who is dying. I'm wondering about how he'll react to a question like, “What’s Important About… To You?” and probably more so to the question about his tangible goals... especially as he doesn't have much of a road to look down. How do you handle conversations with people who are dying, especially young people with families?
Obviously, this is a sensitive situation. Keep in mind that one of the reasons people work with you is to be rational when everyone else is emotional. My experience in situations like this is that they will appreciate you asking the right questions so the best decisions can be made without being distracted or derailed by the enormity of the tragedy of someone so young dying. Have empathy, but don't get so sucked into the sadness that you can't do your job. Meet with him and his wife and do their Financial Road Map®. If appropriate, offer to help them with their finances. They need someone to be strong.
I was rehearsing my script, “Financial Road Map New or Referred Clients” with my wife as a pretend client. As we discussed the Goals Conversation™, and I asked her, “Let’s say you’re there, what are two or three words that describe what you’re thinking and feeling now that you’re there?” She responded that is sounded like I’m “selling her a timeshare.” As if I were a salesman. Do I just need more practice?
I don't really have any comments about this, Dave. It's just an anomaly. Keep in mind that it's not a "closing" question. The purpose of the question is to document, for them, the emotional payoff of achieving their goal on their Financial Road Map®.
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